Heaven

Wish You Didn’t Have to Go

My “little boy” will soon be graduating and going off to college. My affectionate boy who has never stopped giving me hugs, even in front of his friends, even when he was in middle school. My sweet, thoughtful boy who loves to sit down and have deep talks about any subject, who is a friend to everyone. I have been trying to process all the last things in the past months — last musical, senior prom, last choral concert — and it seems appropriate that I came across these thoughts from my journal from when the boys were 10 and 6 years old:

Thinking about how quickly my little boys are growing up, and the magic of childhood slowly evaporating. I feel a deep sadness that only another mother might really understand. Crying over this sense of loss…they are slipping through my fingers and things will never be the same again.

But somehow…and I cannot imagine at all how…God will make even this right. When the four of us are all together in Heaven, everything will be all right. Better than all right. Whatever is precious that has been lost here on earth will be more than restored. There, I will have no cause for these heavy tears, no matter how much I think back on this. I trust my creative God to think of a way to restore and redeem anything and everything.

There is something about childhood magic, pure innocence, simple joys, and sweet, deep parent-child relationships that echoes Heaven. I think at least part of this sadness is really a longing for Home.

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” – Revelation 21:4  I love the thought of God taking the time to wipe every tear from my eyes. Knowing how He likes to get to the root of issues and heal the depths, I believe the wiping of each tear we have ever shed will include healing the depth of each hurt that caused those tears. I’m thinking this will take quite a bit of quality time with the Father to discuss and heal each tear from the past! Sounds good to me. Imagine, then, being free from every thought that now makes you angry, cringe, cry, regret, ashamed, guilty, or deeply sad. I believe that this process can begin even now, and has for me; but will be completed and perfected in Heaven.

 

 

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